7th May 2016
I have a sister, I think I may have mentioned her in the past, who decided 6+ years ago to have no contact with me. That was her choice and whilst I was saddened about her decision I did not feel I should in any way push for her to get in contact as I totally believe she must do what she feels is right for her and her path. I was the last of the family for her to remove herself from. She moved house and did not want anyone to know where she had moved to. Thankfully she kept in touch with her son and I was so glad for them both.
Anyway over the years I have thought of her often, always thought of her on her birthday but never made any push to contact her as that was against her wishes but I never forgot her. As the saying goes i just got on with my life.
Going back in my mind many times as to why she had cut contact I could see no reason why she did not want to know me. That sounds a tad arrogant but the reality is I couldn’t fathom what on earth I had done. We live in different countries, whenever she called we always had such a lot to talk about but she wanted this and therefore it didn’t matter what I had done I couldn’t put it right without contact therefore the best way I could think of was to let her go and hope that one day things would change.
I did keep in touch with her son and she knew this. We agreed he did not need to hid this and he was absolutely OK with that. We emailed when one of us had something to say or when we wanted contact. He would tell my sister what he wished about our emails. I didn’t ask him what he told her but I always asked him how she was and he always told me without telling me anything she wouldn’t want passed on. I can’t tell you how thankful I am that we did this as I feel he has played a major part in what happened last night.
So last night to my delight and amazement I had an email from my sister. It was very short but I didn’t mind that at all. I was so happy to hear from her that I even put out a comment on FB saying I had heard from her. I thank her son for keeping the door open for us so that she could eventually get in touch. She is an amazingly talented artist so I am hoping that if we continue with the contact she will tell me about her art and possibly send me photos of what she has been painting over the years. Yes I have expectations of hope that she will keep the door ajar, because I don’t feel it is much more than that but I find it very exciting and I am hopeful too that things will grow in their own time and now that I have learnt a little patience in my life I am prepared to go at her pace.
So one door opens and another closes. Or so I thought this morning as a friend I have had for a long time has finally decided, I think, to go here own way. She no longer appears to want contact and for that, whilst I am sorry,I am happy that she feels OK enough with herself to not have contact with me. I wish her well and hope she moves on in her life with positivity, joy, love and laughter.
The reason I say “or so I thought” is because I have learnt today that even if we think a door is closed if we leave it ajar there is the opportunity for someone to come back in to our lives and that is what I hope one day my friend will decide to do. The door isn’t shut to her it is ajar till she wishes to push it open.
Today I have been touched how my FB friends have put up comments and I am truly grateful for their kindness. Some have sent me private messages which have been so very touching and have really pulled my heartstrings. As always I have seen how very brave and kind people are in telling of their losses and how they have lost contact with someone and hope one day that will change.
So just for today I am happy and delighted I have a sister again. I’m delighted to leave the door ajar and see what happens. For me I am glad I have learnt yet again a little bit more about the muddle that we call life and I will continue to work on myself in all ways I possibly can to be open to change and just for today I send love and healing to those who are no longer in my life but will possibly come back when they want to.
Sending much love and many hugs to those that read this blog xxx